Monday, August 18, 2008

Surf's Up


The three day weekend was much needed and absolutely incredible. Like drinking water after a marathon. Like a turkey dinner after going a week without food. Like Gold Bond after a 12 hour summer day of blue collar labor. I needed a nice break to regain my balance, and that's exactly what I got.

Thursday evening, rather than going out to kick off the long weekend, I stayed in to crank out a final paper for my University Hawaii online special education course. Believe it or not, it was supposed to be 35 pages. When I found out about it and how soon it was due, I just laughed. I was already in so over my head with everything else...laughing was all I could do.

But I buckled down and did it, and in a total of about five or six hours, I wrote a total of 27 pages. I'm pretty sure that shatters any record time I previously set for a paper in college. And I ended up getting an A on it. Definitely one of my finest accomplishments so far.

Friday I spent a little time finishing the paper, a little time on the beach, and a little time setting up a Hawaiian bank account. Now that I've done that, I'm pretty much all set- the car's registered, it has Hawaiian plates, and I now have my Hawaiian driver's license. It's all starting to finally fall into place.

Saturday was a big day. I went into Waikiki with some friends to try to surf. You can rent long boards down on the beach for $10/hour and take your shot at surfing (along with hundreds of other tourists). Like a lot of things in my life right now, I had no idea what I was doing, but I went out and gave it a shot anyways.

The crowds of people out there made it tough, mainly because maneuvering an eleven-foot board out of anyone's way is difficult. I figured I was either going to get a concussion or give someone one if I rolled with the pack, so I tried to paddle off to where there were few people but I still might be lucky enough to find a wave.

I just floated for awhile in the light blue water and took in the sun and the view of all the nice hotels and resorts that lined the Waikiki shore. Waikiki is kind of my guilty pleasure. Sure, it's extremely crowded and touristy, but that's why I like it. When I'm down there, I feel like I'm on vacation. It's a nice little escape.

Finally a decent wave came along. Catching the wave itself wasn't too tough because it was a lot like boogie boarding, and the long boards really cruised along the water. So I got going and the wave started to crest, and my board was really gliding with the wave. So I cautiously got up on my knees, then to my feet. I was up. I was surfing.

It probably looked pretty bad and unorthodox. I'm sure my form wasn't exactly perfect. But I I was surfing. That's when I had my revelation. This was just like teaching Special Ed. Sure, I don't have much experience or training with it, and that makes it very intimidating. But it doesn't hurt to show up every day and try, and then keep trying and trying until you find success. I've figured out that just like my surfing, even if I don't have the proper training and experience, I have no choice but to show up and do it anyways. And just like surfing, I'm looking to give it my best shot and surprise myself with some initial success. And before I know it, I'll be carving bigger and bigger waves.

Friday, August 15, 2008

BUSIness



I've failed to post for a while now only because I've been so busy. Don't get me wrong, a ton has happened. The first two and a half weeks of school have absolutely flown by. I can't believe that I'm about to get into Week 4 of teaching.

I'd love to be able to write about how amazing things are and how well I'm doing with my students, but it would be a lie. This hasn't been easy at all. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done. I knew this would be the case, but now that I'm neck deep in it I'm very overwhelmed. Teaching itself is difficult (I learned that at Institute), but teaching special education so far seems about 10 times harder. A lot of things worked for me at Institute. Here, everything that worked for me has been pretty ineffective. I need to learn how to reach these kids according to their specific disabilities and then work that into my planning. It's a science.

On top of that, I'm in charge of IEPs for seven students, which so far looks like a full time job in itself if you do it right. I'm still learning the process- there are tons of meetings, procedures, and forms that need to be filled out. I'm learning all of this on the fly, and I have my first re-evaluation (something that's done every three years) due in October.

There's still more. I'm taking an online course through UH, and that has also occupied much of my weeknights and weekends. The final paper is supposed to be 35 pages.

Finally, there's my Italian class. It's an elective course that lasts a quarter. I teach two forty minute classes of it each day. Don't get me wrong- I love teaching the language and the culture, but it's another lesson plan to do every night and the 8th graders I teach are really testing what I learned during Institute about classroom management.

I don't want to complain about any of this because I know I'm meant to be here doing this. Every TFA corps member struggles in the beginning. This is my struggle. I know it's natural and it's supposed to go this way. Sometimes I just have to laugh about it. Almost every day I stay in my classroom until about 6 or 6:30, and my biggest goal is to get out in time to watch the sunset on the drive home. I work and work, but I feel as though I'm falling farther and farther behind. It's frustrating.

But lately I'm starting to feel myself make a comeback. I keep on clawing and clawing, and slowly but surely I think I'm getting there. I think I got this.

I try to give my mind and thoughts a rest sometimes (even in my sleep I dream about school), and the best way to do that is to throw on my mask and go underwater. It's an escape for me. The other day I got home early and rode my bike to the beach for a swim. I came across one of the most incredible things I've ever seen: an enormous sea turtle. Sea turtles are common up here and I see them a lot, but this one was huge- bigger than me. I swam with it for a long time and just watched it. It moved slowly along the sea floor, eating some plants that had grown on the coral. It looked like a dinosaur. I floated there for a while in heavy debate. You're not allowed to even touch the sea turtles here, but this one was right in front of me and no one was around. So I grabbed onto its giant shell and tried to get a free ride. It began swimming off and trying to shake me off, so I let go. That will probably be the last time I try to ride a sea turtle, but I'm glad I got it over with so I won't be tempted to do it again (you can get fined some heavy cash if you're caught doing it).

It's a three day weekend celebrating Hawaii's statehood so I'm going to use the days off to recharge and then revamp my gameplan. I figure the more I plan, the less I have to scramble during the week. Eventually I'm going to get my feet on the ground and get control of it. I can't wait.